*********************************
As Andrea likes to say, “Some men are
fathers, and others are Dads. Vic was
truly a Dad”
When I first sat down to write this
eulogy, I was worried I wouldn't have much to say. I love my dad, and I’m really going to miss
him. What else is there? But as I started writing, the thoughts and
ideas began to form quickly, and then I realized I really do have a lot to say
about the man. So apologies in advance
if this goes on too long.
For 35 years my Dad worked at IBM as
a Land Acquisition and Disposal Administrator.
I would have to explain to my friends that basically meant he bought and
sold real estate. My dad really loved
his job – something not everyone can say.
He made some good friends at IBM as well as the industry trade group,
IDRC, that he helped lead for many years. He really enjoyed the camaraderie and story
telling when he got together with these people.
He was always so excited to help plan and attend the annual IDRC
meetings that would be held in different cities around the country, and bring
back all kinds of swag – like coffee mugs that read Albuquerque is open for
business! And then he was really excited
to chair the annual meeting of IDRC in NY in 1998. He talked about it so much about it, and was
so proud of the event and how it turned out.
But overall, what I think my dad
loved most about his job at IBM was the hard fought negotiations he would have
with other buyers and sellers, and their real estate agents. Anyone who knew my dad knows he loved a good
debate. He did not shy away from
confrontation. And negotiating and arguing were a big part of
his day to day job, as he fought hard to get the best possible deal for his
company. He was clearly well-suited for
this type of career, and he excelled at it.
I always felt bad for the people on the other side of the negotiating
table, because he could be such a pain in the ass.
But at the end of the day, it was always
business, and never personal. He would
tell me stories about a really tense negotiation with a team of agents, with
lots of arguing and back-and-forth, and then how afterwards they all went out
for dinner and had a great time and laughed a lot. How cool is that? To be able to put business differences aside,
and develop personal and long-lasting relationships with your opponents of the
day…. But that’s typical Vic Weinstein.
And this was the exact trait that he
took into his 2nd career after retirement in 2003.
The past 10 years have truly been the
golden years for my dad. He was able to
take the parts of his life that he loved best, and put them all together for a wonderful
daily agenda of tasks and activities. No
doubt my dad loved his wife, children and grandchildren with everything he
had. We were all the light of his life,
and just being around him made him happy.
But it’s important to know we weren’t his whole life. The man had a complete and full agenda pretty
much every day. There was no stopping
him, and many of us wondered where he got the energy to take on so much. So often I would be talking with him on the
phone, and he would say “I have to cut you short Mitchy Evan. I have to walk Daisy, and then head out to such
and such meeting….” It never bothered
me. I was just happy he was happy. And he really was.
My dad was a member of the Planning Board for
the Town of Greenburgh, where he was able to help keep the town safe from
over-development and traffic jams, while still maintaining a business-friendly
environment and encouraging economic growth. Striking this balance was something he knew
best.
He was also on the Board of Directors
of this synagogue, Temple Beth Abraham, where he co-chaired the House Committee
with his very good friend Neil, and helped fund and rebuild this beautiful
sanctuary we are sitting in right now.
And thanks to his sharp negotiating tactics, he was able to keep the
contractor’s cost as low as possible. I
doubt there was anyone who thought they could have done a better job and gotten
a better price. He really loved this
place, and made sure to take very good care of it.
My dad was also on the Board of
Directors of Wyldwood, his condo development in Tarrytown. Here, he was able to make sure the community
was well maintained, and spending its budget in a responsible manner. Negotiating rates with the landscaper was the
highlight of one his terms, and loved to tell us all about it.
In addition to all this, he
volunteered his time at SCORE, in White Plains, where he mentored small
business owners, and was able to share his huge wealth of knowledge and
business experience. It was the lucky
person who was able to receive my Dad’s guidance and support.
And then in his free time, he enjoyed
meeting with his broker on a regular basis to discuss the latest market trends,
and whether or not he should buy an ETF or move money into corporate
bonds. We would all seek out my dad’s
financial advice before making any major moves.
And he was more than happy to provide this advice, even if we didn't ask
for it.
…..And then there was the family man
and friend. Vic, Dad, Grandpa, Pepa,
Pa….whatever you called him. If everyone
in this room were to conjure up a picture of my Dad in their mind, I’m willing
to bet that in every single one of those images he is smiling widely, and
probably laughing out loud in some of them.
The guy was just a happy soul.
Little things didn't bother him.
He kept his eye on the ball and knew what was important – family and
friends.
He and Penny had such a wonderful, happy,
and full life together. They built such a
strong community of close friends together over the years, and were always
going on trips, dining out with friends, visiting children and grandchildren,
and traveling to Penny’s business conferences where my Dad got to play the role
of supportive spouse (which he really enjoyed by the way). And Penny – thank you for keeping him so
happy for all these years. He really
loved you, and would have done anything for you.
My dad’s love for his children was
boundless and unmatched. Even though our
parents were divorced as we grew up, he and my Mom always came together on
matters that involved their children, and were always in agreement that the
kids were the priority, above all else.
This is something we always felt in our hearts growing up, and something
all 3 of us have internalized and tap into on a daily basis in our current
roles as parents.
My Dad made it his life’s mission to
be a regular and stable presence in our lives, despite the physical distance
between us. This was truly his singular
focus during our childhood years. The joke I've always told my friends is that,
even though my Dad didn't live with us growing up, I probably saw him, and
spoke to him more, than kids who lived with their fathers. His dedication to us was unbelievable. My Dad traveled a lot for work. You never knew if he would be in Huntsville,
Alabama; Lincoln, Nebraska, or Gainesville, Florida in any given week. But what you did know, is that he would call us every day no matter where he
was, rain or shine. Every single day. Not only
that, but when he wasn't traveling, he would come up to our house one night during the week, to take one of us out for dinner. The rule was only one of us would go with
him, as we would take turns, so that we could each spend quality one-on-one
time with our dad. This was so important
to him. He wanted to connect with each
of us individually, in a personal and special way.
And on top of that, we would spend
weekends with my Dad, in his 1 bedroom apartment on Lake Street in White
Plains. The apartment wasn't huge, but
we made it work. I have such fond memories of spending my weekends there. He had no time for himself, but to him, that wasn't the priority. He had 3 kids, and
they were truly the center of his universe, and nobody could get in the way of
that. Time with his 3 children was sacrosanct,
and something he just cherished greatly.
And as his grandchildren came along,
he expanded his deep and heartfelt love to include them. First came Benjamin, quickly followed by
Zachery, Madelyn, Jacob, Rebecca, Samuel, Jonathan, and Joshua. Dad morphed into the Grandpa role very well,
and loved every minute of it. He was a
strong and loving presence in each of the grandkids’ lives. It was so much fun watching him revel in this
new role, getting on the floor and rolling around with the kids when they were
babies, tickling them with his prominent nose.
He was a gregarious and, very
often, goofy, Grandpa, and the kids loved that.
And then as they got older, attending
dance recitals, little league games, hockey games, soccer matches, etc.
etc. And then bar and bat mitzvahs. How proud he was there, on the bima, smiling
more broadly than ever, watching his cherished and beloved grandchild go
through such a joyous and wonderful life event.
To him, there was nothing better.
Just last week, we were all together
for Hannukah at my Dad’s and Penny’s house.
They bought very nice gifts for all the kids, and us as well. Dollars add up quickly when you are buying
gifts for 14 people. I suggested that,
instead of material gifts, he make donations to each of the kids’ college funds. It seemed like a much more practical idea to
me. But he was having none of it. He said he wanted to see the expressions on
their faces when they received their gifts, and their happy smiles. That was the most important thing to him, and
that was the best Hannukah gift we could give him back.
Those are all the sweet and
sentimental things about my Dad. Some
things you may, or may not have known about Vic Weinstein.
-He was a true man of the 70s, and
loved his bean jeans, wide ties, and shirts with large collars. He had a very
impressive collection of 8-track tapes, covering his favorite artists: Kenny
Rogers, Fleetwood Mac, Barry Manilow, and England Dan & John Ford Coley.
-He was probably the least
technically savvy person I knew despite having worked for the largest computer
company of his time. His cell phone was
a mystery him, which is why I never left him voice mails. He once answered a text from Brad, and when
Brad got it he replied back “Dad, you’re responding to a text I sent you 6
months ago”. My Dad also has been known
to click on links emailed to him from a Nigerian prince looking for a way to
launder money in the US. To him, Spam
was canned meat, and nothing more. He
never met an email he didn’t open and click on.
I can’t imagine how many computer viruses live on his laptop.
-He loved his food thoroughly cooked,
and sometimes burnt. He would go the
finest steak houses in the area, and ask for his filet cooked well-done. You know there was a chef in the kitchen
grumbling about having to ruin a perfectly good piece of meat.
-One of my Dad’s greatest passions,
outside of family, friends, and business, was staying fit and trim. He had been
running on a regular basis for the past 40 years, even when he traveled. My Dad and I would run the Bridgeport
Hospital 5k every Memorial Day Weekend.
We had been doing this every May for the past 10 years, and was something
we both truly cherished. Just this past
year, he placed 2nd in the 70 and over age category, missing first
place by just a few seconds (the winner was actually over 80, but the age
rankings didn’t go that high). After the race I wanted to leave – it was very
cold that day, and I was tired. But my Dad
wasn’t going anywhere. He knew he had
placed, and he wanted to wait for the awards ceremony to claim what was
rightfully his: A small plastic trophy,
that symbolized all his hard work and effort for the past 40 years.
Over the years, I noticed from
time-to-time that my Dad began reminding me of my Grandpa Joe. He would say something, tell a corny joke, or
make a face that struck me as something Grandpa would do. And what’s funny is that as I get older, Jen
sometimes tells me I remind her of my Dad.
She might tell me “that’s something your Dad would say”, or “you look
like your dad when you make that face”.
I now realize those are the biggest compliments she could pay me. If I can live my life up to his high
standards of hard work, perseverance, and dedication to family, then I know I
have succeeded.
We love you Dad. We will miss you. But you should be in peace knowing you did a
great job raising your kids, and you should have no regrets about anything.
